Sooner or later we are all affected by grief. We cannot avoid it, and why would we avoid something that is part of our lives? Life contains of a lot of joy, love and friendship but it also includes sorrow through various losses. Today is the first of several posts about grief and recovery on my blog. I want to dispel some of the myths and talk about it from a new angle. I have invited several guest bloggers who will talk very openly and candidly about their sorrow. Grief is often associated with death, but a divorce, prolonged illness, losing your job, a poor relation with your children/parents/ siblings, retirement, moving, losing a body part, death of a pet, wedding, graduation, financial changes, legal problems, empty nest, loss of trust can also produce grief.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind. Therefore, the feelings you are having are also normal and natural. At the same time it is our most neglected and suppressed feeling both by the grievers and those around them. Many times we are afraid of the strong emotions that arise at a loss, both to experience it ourselves but also to meet people who are grieving. We are so afraid that we rather avoid people than talk to them. Many people can tell stories about friends and colleagues, who quickly cross the street when they see them, stop phoning them or in some cases hide behind pillars in the grocery store. Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness. There are no stages of grief but you may experience lack of energy, bodily pains, disrupted sleep patterns, reduced concentration, mood swings, changed eating habits; we eat too little, or too much and a sense of numbness. This is a normal and a natural response to a loss, but the duration is unique to every individual. It is impossible to say how long it will last. Grief is not a problem to be solved intellectually, nor a medical condition. It is therefore important not to use sleeping pills and antidepressants as it might prolong your grief. Yes it hurts, and most of us are ill prepared to deal with a loss but it is not dangerous. We are all different, and that means that our grief is also individual and unique. No on can tell us how we should feel or how we should grieve. There are as many reactions to a loss as there are people. It is therefore not possible to describe how a normal emotional reaction to a loss looks. It is also important not to compare grief; no loss is worse than another, all our losses are unique. A broken heart can be caused for many different reasons and one of the biggest lies about a loss is that time heals all wounds. It is not time that heals all wounds, it is the actions you take and the result from them that gives you an emotional recovery. Not time itself.
Next week; a friend of my mine is going to blog about his son Anton. I have worked as a grief counsellor for many years, and I am trained at http://www.sorg.se, which is an affiliate to http://www.griefrecoverymethod.com. Part of today’s text comes from their book, “The grief recovery handbook”. / / Marianne
© 2012 Marianne365days – Change Your Life One Day At The Time – All Rights Reserved