A thought

DSC_2634“For every minute that you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness”, unknown.  //Marianne

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8 responses to “A thought

  1. so today i was pondering when i might see the carpenter who told me a month ago, ‘manana.’ i pondered what i might say, how i might say it, as i’d like to give him a sharp retort and say that he isn’t being very ethical. then i pondered the guy.. i think he tells too many people that he will do the work for them, and then he has to let someone down, which this quarter of the year, happened to be me. he is a really really sweet guy, and a harsh scolding would bruise his feelings in several ways –

    i came to the conclusion to be nice.. not say a thing when he returned except thank you for returning.. if i say short words, he’ll only feel worse, and maybe the lesson is not his to learn but mine, and that’s one of tolerance and remembering that we’re all evolving, and he hasn’t learned some important values.

    someone else can teach him in the negative ‘naggin’ ways.. i hope to kill him with kindness and see if that works.

    what do you think?

    z

    • For almost two years I had the same problem with several consultants I hired. I was very clear about what I needed, and what was expected of them. We wrote contracts, shook hands and then they didn’t deliver. This happened four times. They did exactly what your carpenter did, they said yes to a job they couldn’t perform because they didn’t have the time. This’s a big problem with some people, they’re so afraid they will not have enough job and instead they overbook themselves. It’s not ok. In my case I have had to forsake time with friends, and family, being forced to work 7 days a week to clear up their mess for a very, very long time. I had in turn promised other people to deliver, and I always deliver no matter what. It has almost “destroyed” me, and I still have to work very long hours.

      I could write an essay about this, and the lack of ethical behaviour. My answer to your question. I don’t belive you do him a favour by not giving him feedback on his behavior. I don’t belive in nagging, or being rude, or nasty but I do belive in giving people feedback in cases like this. It can be done with kind words, and a good idea is to write down what you want to say and then practise before you talk to him. That way you’ll be in control, and not tempted to start yelling at him.

      I am going to go for a long walk on the beach now, it’s almost 5 pm and I’ve been working all day. My body is aching, and it feels like my head is going to explode… //Marianne Ps, I’ve great trouble getting your posts :(.

      • hey amiga
        i understand and will take your advice. thank you!

        you’ve had a challenging few months; i hope that you find a way to diffuse that headache. i’m lucky that i rarely suffer from headaches…

        i’ve been painting all day; when i take a break i then switch to WP, photos and posts.. it’s quite late, and i’m heading for some much-needed sleep!

        muchas gracias again for your feedback.

        z

      • Lisa, I hardly ever have a headache and after walking along the beach it’s now gone, :). My answer to your question trigged some bad memories, and that gave me a headache, :). Sleep well!

  2. I very much like your reply above, making a distinction between sheer negativity and constructive, for-a-purpose feedback. You’re right, it is NOT acceptable to abuse people’s trust and time, and we should confront it when it happens to us. I’m glad to read your headache went away quite quickly. Happy new year…

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